I'll probably be the last to know

Sometimes I wish I know what went wrong between us. Sometimes I hope I realize which part of me that change so much. Most of the time I wish I could be inside your soul, seeing myself through your eyes and scan my image with your brain. I wish I can do that so I will know what do you think about me. What are the thoughts that you secretly keep. And what is your feelings towards me. Is it love..or hatred?

The truth may hurts but having the chance to know what my friends really think about me is everything I would trade for. You guys are the closest people to me other than my family. Knowing that all our silly moments and hard laughter is a pure lie and excellent act of yours would kill me, inside and out. I never thought that you would fake your attitude when you confronted me and stabbed me behind my back on a social networking. I guess if you have the guts to say bad stuff about me on the Internet and let the whole world read about it, then you sure should have the guts to say it straight to my face too. But why are you still hiding behind that social account of yours?

I doubt it that we're still friends. Pulling your face away when I try to talk to you prove me how much you hated me. I don't want to lose you. I guess the memories of us being 'friends' is strong enough for us to hold on. But if letting go is the only option that you could think of, then, with all due respect, I'm shutting myself down from your perfect life.

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